Simon Says…

April 01, 2008
Happy Birthday, Simon!

Today is Simon’s 8th birthday – just to remind you what he looks like… heres a photo…

 

March 04, 2008
Neglected

My lady has been neglecting to post about my daily activities, so I requested she take many poses of me during the day and make a collage. Captions are below.

So captions – numbers go across, then move down a row.

1. Watching the reflection in the frames.
2. Inspecting the people leaving for the day.
3. Early afternoon Nap

4. Later afternoon Nap
5. Watching out the back window
6. Done watching, now napping

7. Inspecting the computer work
8. My lady and I
9. Just me – clearly something exciting is happening somewhre, I am on HIGH ALERT incase it involves me.

February 12, 2008
Greenies

Greenies are my favorites. I don’t like treats. My lady has bought every kind of treat under the sun. I don’t do tricks for treats, I don’t like treats, I just don’t. However – I do love LOVE my Greenies

Greenies are a “dental hygiene” product for cats. My lady says I have the worst breath on the planet, and Greenies are like cat breath mints. They come in fun flavors, and are crunchy and are green and I love them.

February 09, 2008
I love my lady…

My lady untied part of my tie blanket, and put a new pillow in it, so now its a tie pillow. It’s in front of my fireplace, and now I have somewhere fluffy and comfy to lay on. I love it  and I love my lady. I am going to pose for pictures tomorrow when its not dark and make her post them.

February 08, 2008
My Top Ten Favorite Things – in no particular order

1. My window perch
2. The electric blanket on my ladies bed.
3. My purple octopus
4. My feathers
5. My greenies
6. Sharing a blanket with my lady
7. Licking the fireplace
8. A big bowl of water to play in
9. The shower
10. When I get to help “clean” things… the mirrors, pictures, the kitchen floor, the closet doors… etc.

February 02, 2008
Not much new…

Well theres not much new in my life. My lady finally helped me out by putting a cushion and my favorite blanket infront of the fireplace, so I have a nice play to lay when we have a fire. Also, while she was gone for a few days a couple weeks ago, I re-discovered ho wmuch I like my window seat, so I have been spending a lot of time up there. It’s great because I can monitor the comings and goings of the neighbors better that way.

Really – that’s about it. My lady tried to take some new photos of me, but I was not cooperating… so she’s got nothin… HA!

January 13, 2008
Long Time

Well, it’s been a long time since I’ve had my blog updated. I’ll have to kick my ladies ass a bit for her to get on it. I’ve had quite an adventerous few days. First, we had some intruders on our balconey and I”ve been forced to walk the perimeter of the apartment through the day and night to make sure there arent any further security breaches. I got bored the other day and so I decided to lay out my toys for an inspection. I got each one out of the toy basket and layed it out in the living room… this worked well because I could get a better look at them. I was in the middle of making sure each one still “played” correctly when my lady came and put them all away. Irritation. I made sure to get her back for that one. I’ve discovered a new way to irritate her – I start MEOWING at 2 in the morning… every morning. HA – and theres not a damn thing she can do about it. Sometimes I do it from the shower, and sometimes I snuggle right up next to her face – and purrrrrr and then let out a big MEOW into her ear… HA

Finally, my lady came home with bag full of exciting things, and she said some of them were for me. I love toys, so I got in the bag to make sure she got everything out. The only two things that were for me were… this stuff you put in my cat box, that makes it smell goodish, and then new wetwipes. Listen people, my lady has this thing about pettng me with these dang wet wipes. The other ones are giant and I get very wet. I refuse to lick myself dry when she does that. She always giggles, but I dont get it. These arent as bad – I was only damp, and they smell decent. However, she thought she was so sneaky and made me stand up on the table to get my legs, and I leaped on to her shoulder and LEAPED off. HA – so I only got 1/2 damp… sucka… try again next time lady.

Cheers,
Alison

December 28, 2007
EFFing Red Light

Attention! There is a new red light in my house. It goes CRAZY at random times during the day and makes circles and zippies and swirlies and it climbs the wall. It also gets ON me. I am unable to catch it. I’ve tried. I’ve jumped up the wall, and climbed the corner, and hid behind the pillows to try to hide it. The redlight came home with my lady last night and I do not know where it came from, but it makes me crazy. I keep chasing it – nothing happens. There also appears to be a flying squirrel tail in the house – but I’ve taken care of that issue. I’ve relegated it to one corner of the living room. It’s safely behind the birdless cage and I occasionaly show it whose boss, so it doesnt forget.

Finally, my lady’s friend came to visit me yesterday. I was SOOO excited to see her, I stood up and put my nose in her pocket. She is always so nice to me, and pets me. I like to rub against her, and check out her pockets – I am tall enough that when I am standing on my back feet, my head hits the bottom of her belt loops – so thats fun. I was so excited to see her, that when she sat down I tried to snuffle in her ear, but she got nervous, but I would never bite her face – so I bit her hand instead, but it was a love bite and she didnt even bleed.

I must figure out that damn red light.

December 26, 2007
My Holiday Photo…

My lady sent this out as a Christmas Card. I posed very nicely, don’t you think!

Last Year, she made me pose, and she used one that makes me insane. This one I think makes me look rather cute.

I’m glad Christmas is over, I now get to play with the left over tissue paper, and ribbons that are in the wrapping box. I am sneaky and figured out how to get in it.

Merry/Happy everyone. A special bite from me to you.

Simon 

December 18, 2007
Clearing a few things up…

Well, I apparently need to take some time to clear a few things up. Word has gotten back to me that my lady, has been telling everyone that I am an ungrateful, mean, wing-nut of a cat, and those are claims I whole heartily deny. I mean, yes – occasionally I get overstimulated and have to bite her a little bit. But usually thats because she’s done something wrong, like worn flowey pants, or came home late, or something, but for the most part – unless theres strangers wearing flip flops, or people I know are afraid of me, I am VERY cute and snuggly.

I’ll have you know that I like to be where my lady is. If she goes to the bathroom, I go to. If shes in the shower, I make sure I wait on the bathroom floor until shes out. I love to sleep under the covers with her at night, and purr in her ear. Nighttime is my favorite time, because then I can sit on her for the whole night. I love it when she puts a blanket on because then I can sit on her, and go under the blanket – which I love.

Today I had a busy day, I’ve inspected teh entire house for bugs – and we have none. I then took a 2 hour nap on my ladys bed, and now I am inside the ski-jacket on the futon – its fleece and warm in there, so I like it. My lady went and got me cat food today (finally!) and so I have a full stomache and am very sleepy.

I hope this clears up the mis-perception of my personality. I’ll be sure to clarify this when I see the blog readers in person next. There is a New Friend I’ve not yet met… I’ve heard she wears flip-flops… should be interesting.

Simon

December 08, 2007
Under my ladys butt

My goal today is to be under my lady’s butt. She’s been gone all day. She left this morning and didn’t come back until it was dark. I had given up on her coming back ever, and so when she came home I was sleeping under the sofa. After she finally arrived home, I wanted her to pick me up – but she refused, so I jumped up and bit her. And then, I got her again while she was changing clothes… HA – I showed her.

This evening, I’ve decided where I really want to sit is under her butt. Anytime she gets up to get something, I am sitting – really curling up where she was, I hope she sits on me -tht would accomplish my goal. Also, when she makes me move – I wait until she sits back down and then I try to get under the blanket and shove as my much of my face under her butt as possible.

**Update** I’ve settled for being ON her. I will remain ON her for as long as possible.

My lady has the decorations up for Christmas this year. I posed for my annual holiday photo, and I think she got a good one. This year, shes added a wreath, and I rather like it. Sometimes I sit in the middle of it, and ponder my overall existance. It’s enjoyable.

That is all.
Simon

November 26, 2007
Photos

My lady thinks these are cute pictures.

 

I was just trying to take a nap – who cares that my three feet are up, and one foot is down.

November 22, 2007
Long Time, No Update

Well, it’s been quite a while since I updated my blog. I’ve been quite busy keeping up my house, given that my lady was gone for a long time. She left a couple of weeks ago and she left me by myself, with nothing but the TV on. I was lucky because her Mom came to visit me every couple of days. I was sure to let her know that I do not like to be left alone by biting her leg… but she wore her thick pants or her boots – which I found irritating. I bided my time though, and the last day she came she was silly and wore short sleeves and TOTALLY got her – it was great.

My lady came back last week and I had formulated my plan of attack. First – I attacked her and bit her legs and attacked her feet. Then I ignored her for precisely 5 hours. But when she went to bed, I was very nervous that she might dissapear again, so from that point on I’ve been with intouching distance of her. The first night I slept on her – up by her face, and purring in her ear. Then the next two nights I’ve slept with her, on her knees, or ankles, and then when it gets really old I get under the covers with her. She really likes that. It’s harder during the day because she comes and goes – but when she is at home I make sure I can touch her at anytime. On Monday and Tuesday I saw on the desk next to the phone, so I can tell her when it rings, and pet her… it’s quite handy.

The last couple of days have been harder becuase she’s acting like its Saturday – which I find confusing. Today she was gone a long time, and then came home smelling like other cats. I find that irritating, so before she boot on her fluffy shoes I bit her feet. I think she knows where I stand.

Until next time,
Simon

October 27, 2007
INTRUDER ALERT INTRUDER ALERT

That damn cat is BACK. This is the cat that not only comes and visits my deck, but sleeps on it. He SLEEPS ON MY DECK – do you not understand how inappropriate it is. I thought this damn cat died. I mean really people, he must have used up his 9 lives already. He came back for awhile and he had big holes in his side and no hair and was too thin. Now – he’s back, and fat, and bumping his cross eyed face into my sliding glass door. I’ve tried all my tricks to scare him away and nothing. I’ve smacked the front door, hissed, yowled at him. I’ve stood up and pawed the glass, Ive shown him how my toys work – nothing. My lady things its CUTE – can you believe that, she thinks its CUTE and talks to him. She calls him Crookshanks – what a dumb name for a cat. I mean c’mon Crookshanks… jeesh. Pardon me, I must go – I just heard him go down the stairs. I must go watch where he goes – thank god my lady bought me that window seat.

Simon

October 22, 2007
My New Hiding Spot

I have a new hiding spot. I love it. I like to go there and sleep for hours at a time. Sometimes my lady thinks I’m missing, so she calls me and I wait for her to be nowhere near my hiding spot before I come out. She doesnt know where it is, yet. I think I like that the most. We had a visitor on the deck today, and I scared it away. My new technique is to SLAM myself into the sliding door and scare the visitor away. It works well.

Finally, my lady cleaned my box out. Its now new and clean, and I love it. She also vac’d my area of the closet – which she did not warn me about. I dont like that red machine, and she did not ask my permission to turn it on. Don’t worry. She paid – I bit her arm in the middle of the night. Hard. with out provocation or warning. I plan to continue my barrage on her feet.

I must go hide so I can attack later.
Simon

October 20, 2007
She keeps leaving.

Listen. I like that my lady works from home. It means she’s here all the time. It means whenever I feel like biting her, shes here. It means that when I want to play with her shes here… this week, she’s not been here. I dont know where she was, but one night she didnt come home at all. She even left the TV on all night – but at least she remembered to blow out the candle. Sometimes she forgets, and I have to watch it while shes out. Today I decided to wake her up early so she could be awake with me.

A couple of new things – I love my window seat. My lady put my fleece blanket on it, and I like it very much. Part of my responsibilities are to keep an eye on the parking lot, and I’m able to do that much better when my window seat is comfortable. This morning as well was exercise morning, so I did sprints and vocal exercises. They are my ladys favorite.

I’m sure I will have more to report later.

Simon

October 15, 2007
Garage Doors

 My garage door was fixed today, it now matches the others. This makes me extrodanarily pleased. I was able to survey the work up close, since he was right under my window – and he does acceptable work. I have rediscovered my grey mouse and how much fun that is to play with.

Currently, I’m playing with it… hiding it… finding it… and then playing with it. It was drizzly today, and I was tired.

My lady is already talking about what to do with my Holiday Photo – last year, she made me sit on the sofa with a stupid collar on, under the lights. This year she’s mentioned a hat. I dont “do” hats.

We’ll see.

That is all.
Simon 

October 13, 2007
Saturdays

I love Saturdays. I get to sleep in WITH my lady. She stays in bed, and I get to snuggle up to her for as long as possible. Then – she goes to the gym, which is good for me becuase I can rearrange my toys in the hallway, so she knows exactly which one to play with when she comes home. THEN – my favorite part, she comes back from the gym, and I get to lick her – and shes salty, and I like it. I also get to lick her foot when she gets out of the shower, which I like as well.

It’s good to be the cat.

Simon

 

October 12, 2007
SSSHHH… I’m Sleeping

Today is cold and wet, and I’ve decided to spend it doing this.

I’ve decided getting up today is over rated. I rather enjoy this method of spending the day.

Simon

October 11, 2007
BIG TROUBLE

I am in big trouble… still. Last night I bit my ladies nose. I was sitting on her purring, and I was sniffing her face, and I dont know what came over me – but I bit her nose. Hard. She’s pissed.

I’ve since tried to make up with her – tried to sit on her again, tried to purr in her ear. I even ran through all her favorite tricks of mine… I swept my spot in the kitchen, I layed on the coffee table… nothing. I decided to keep trying over night. I slept next to her where she likes me too, I went under the covers and licked her foot, I brought her my favorite toy as a peace offering…. nothing. This morning I tried some more stuff… I meowed very cutely, I played in the shower, I sat on the computer monitor… nothing.

She is still very not happy.

Update: I am no longer in trouble. I was very cute today, and snuggly with the lady. She finally gave in, and started paying attention to me. I showed her how much I loved her when she came back from coffee and the gym today by biting her on the ankle. I know she loves it when I do that. She turned on the shower and let me play in the water later, so I know that I’m forgiven.

The rest of my day was standard – I kept gaurd of the deck to make sure that big orange cat did not pass the top step, and I chased the fly. It’s complicated when the fly is high because I can not catch it, no matter how high I jump or what I jump off of. I find it frustrating.

I must go.
Simon

October 10, 2007
The Obstacle Course

Today is obstacle course day. I spent the early morning setting up my obstacle course in the house. It was quite a detailed course, and took me a fair amount of time to set it up. Today’s course was:

  • Start at the Front Door
  • Race down the hallway, jumping over the carpet seam
  • Run into the bedroom, and under the bed.
  • Exit the bed and run into the office leaping on to the futon, and pretending to be scared by that big blue ball.
  • Exit the office, run down the hallway, jumping over the carpet seam to the dining area
  • Run around the kitchen table, and finish by leaping onto the coffee table.

I had to spend about an hour running the course over and over to get the best time. The set-up and running of today’s course has left me exhausted, and I am going to take a nap. I prefer to nap, in my bed, under the covers.

 

Update: I’ve woken up refreshed from my nap, and am currently suprvising the installation of the garage doors.

I’ve encouraged the other black cats in the neighborhood to investigate it as well, but so far all they are doing is sitting on my deck. I am not even allowed to sit on my deck, so I find it irritating that they can.

Final Update: My lady has provided me with a pile of clean laundry to gaurd. I will do my job dutifully and not let anything else touch it, including her.

 That is all,
Simon

 

October 9, 2007
Garage Door Installation

Today is an exciting day at my house. There are many men here, with many trucks putting on and taking off the garage doors downstairs. I’ve taken it upon myself to monitor thier progress, and to point out mistakes that they make from the windows. I’ve discovered that my new window seat is a perfect place to view all the activity, and to make sure they are doing a good job.

My lady appears to be a bit perturbed with the noise, but I’m finding it very exciting. I’m helping her calm down by running through all my tricks – bringing her all my toys, chasing a ball down the hallway, and all the other things I’m good at.

Update: Alejandra the cleaning lady came today. I really tried to be on my best behavior and not bite her to show her I like her, but my lady apparently doesnt trust me. First, I got put into the bathroom, I made sure the shower was appropriately dusted, and then I got put into the bedroom until Alejandra left. The bedroom wasnt that bad, I made my lady feel bad because I MEOWED at the top of my lungs and shoved my arm under the door… I enjoy making her suffer.

I can’t update long – I need to spend the next few hours inspecting all of Alejandras work and making sure none of the perimters were breached. This is a busy afternoon for me. I must go stretch.

That is all,
Simon

 

October 7, 2007
I went to church

My lady took me somewhere today. It clearly wasn’t the vet. I know that because I didnt get cat-handled by that nervous girl, and that other man in the white coat. The only interesting thing that happened there, was that some lady in a white dress, flicked water at me, which was great – because it was hot. There were some dogs there, and the cats I lived with for awhile there, but they were in inferior boxes, and that other cat that is mean to me – was crammed into a small box like mine. Clearly, I rank because I had a better box. We didnt stay long – which was fine

Evening update: My tail is not cooperating. I am doing my best to relax, and my tail refuses to follow directions. I’ve decided to teach it a lesson, by chasing it, and then when I catch it – I bite it.

That is all.
Simon

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