Well – listen, here’s the deal. We all have baggage – yes? If we’re lucky, we know what it is, we know why we carry it around and we know what the triggers are that put us in a brochure-folding kind of mood.
I am WELL AWARE of what I have all packed up in my baggage, what I carry with me. I know why I am the way I am, I know why things bother me, and why I make specific choices – I get it.
However, there are times when I forget what’s in one of my pieces of luggage, and something happens and the luggage gets popped open, and I get to work through sorting through the crap and putting it all back in there so I can add it back to the pile of baggage I carry with me.
I’ve had the opportunity to work through some of my baggage this week. One of the cases got popped open, and I’ve gotten to spend some time sorting through the crap and putting it back in. I think where I’ve landed is that – I didn’t do anythign to cause the situation, my feelings and reaction to it are reasonable, and I don’t need to feel bad about it. I know why I had a strong reaction and I know exactly what fears/issues this situation brings up in me, and it’s clear now that I need to do some things in order to have a net set up, in case what I’m afriad of, were to actually happen. I think that the situation makes me sad, dissapointed and angry – and that is a reasonable reaction. But it’s good to know that I can identify what bothers me, assign meaning to my feelings about it, and go forward.
So – I need to figure out what to do, to make sure if something were to happen, I’m not totally hosed emotionally, which I’m not sure that is possible but at least I’ve identified that as an action. Anyway – I just needed to vent “on paper” in order to get it out of my system – so thanks. And yes – I’m purposely being cryptic on the blog. No – its not work related, no – no one is sick, no – I’m not having a mid-life crisis, I just needed to vent.
So – thanks for reading. The End.