My family had a parade, a short parade, but a typical small town parade.
No – I’m not kidding.
Sooooo yesterday? No… Sunday, lets go with Sunday.
So, Sunday – my grandmother aka Nanny – went to a local nursery to do… I don’t know what. She had quite an eventful time at the nursery! She caused a parade…
Here’s the deal – Nanny apparently fell and passed out, or passed out and fell while at Cherry Lane Nursery. One of the workers found her on the ground, bleeding from the head and all wacked out – which is actually her baseline, but that is really another story. So – the nice worker called 911 and then called my Dad. My Dad said… EXPLETIVE.. I’ll be there in 10 minutes. So he rolls up to CLN in his giant silvery Silverado, and there is a firetruck and an ambulance, and my grandmother, who is bleeding from the head. So, Dennis (Dad) walks up and here is what happens:
Dad: Whats going on?
EMT: Your mother is refusing transport to the hospital
EMT: The dog
Dad: The dog?
EMT: Yes, apparently her dog is in he car, and she doesnt want to leave her behind.
Dad: Mother, its a DOG, she’ll be fine, I’ll come back for her later.
Nanny: No No I am not leaving my dog in the car.
Fireman: Ummm… we have to figure this out, we have to get going.
Dad: Crap, I don’t know what to do
EMT: Well, she’s refusing transport, so we’re leaving.
Fireman: Okay, bye
Fireman: Well – do you want me to drive her car to the hospital, so the dog is in the car, but at the hospital?
Dad: OHHHHH great idea – but she lives like 2 blocks from the hospital – could you drive her car to her house?
Fireman: SURE, I’d be happy to.
And so the parade began. They took off like a herd of turtles… Dad in the Silverado, with Nanny whose bleeding from the head… followed by… fireman in his fireman outfit, including the hat, driving the white Mercedes SUV… followed by… the GIANT LIME GREEN FREAKING FIRE ENGINE with 8 FREAKING FIREMEN FOLLOWING BEHIND. Oi. So its like 2 miles from CLN to Nanny’s house – so they caravan to Nannys house, Dad parks on the street, Fireman pulls into the drive way, he helps put the dog in the house while Nanny, whose bleeding from the head, yells stuff out the window, and the GIANT LIME GREEN FIRETRUCK idles on the street. The nice fireguys walks out of the house, and hops on to the fire truck and off they go into the sunset.
Clearly people, I can’t make this crap up.
So Nanny is fine-ish, she has 6 stitches in her head, and a cracked clavicle – but the LITTLE DOG didn’t have to suffer in the car – so alls well that ends well.
I swear, only in my family, and only in this town.