I was in LA last weekend for the wedding of one of my dear friends, Tom and his partner Karl. Tom and I have been friends for about 12 years. We’ve been co-workers, roommates, friends, co-workers again, and through some intense and not intense stuff together. He and Karl have been together for close to 3 years. Bothentire sets of families were there, and several groups of friends. They are both very involved in the GMCLA and the cycling circle in LA.
The wedding itself was short and sweet. They wrote their own vows, and followed the structure of a traditional service – but tweaked it to meet theirneeds. I stood with Grandma – Tom’s grandma – during the service, which was nice. She cried the minute the trumpet played, and was very emotional during the vows. I stood at the ceremony surrounded by their families, and close friends – couples that have been together for 10, 15, 20 years, and who have been denied the opportunity to create a marriage. They’ve created incredibly strong partnerships, signed a bazillion legal papers to create a DP, or come to accept that they do not have the rights and privileges of straight couples. It’s sad, and it makes me angry – but to stand in that crowd and witness Tom and Karl marry each other – was touching, emotional and made me very very proud that I was there.
Below are some pictures I’ve… ummmm borrowed… from the official wedding site. Additional commentary is below:
These are the grooms, Tom and Karl.
On the left is Greg, he and I have known each other since I was… 18 or 19…? He was my Crew Coordinator for my first AIDS Ride – a truly life changing event. On the right are Tom and Dan. Dan is Tom’s childhood best friend, and was the best man. He was our roommate for about 3 months. He and his g/f Sara are getting married soon.
This is the cupcake tower. Red Velvet anyone? And Toms G-Ma on the right… she’s 87!!
This is … well people doing inappropriate things to deer. On the left the former mayor of West Hollywood, and on the right – Karl’s brother… whose straight and whose wife and daughter were in hysterics laughing.
Finally – this is Phil and Keith. They were the hosts of the wedding, and have been together for 30 years. They have a beautiful house….
I am trying hard to not put a “vote no on 8” pitch in here at the bottom, but as I reflect on the wedding and the many many couples that were there, who have been together for many many years – I invite you to think about your relationships and what it would feel like to be told that while it’s great you love your partner, but you aren’t allowed to be married. Or – its great that you love your partner, and you can’t be married – per say – but you can have a Civil Union that has most but not all the rights and privileges a marriage does, and not alot of the power and significance a marriage does. Civil Unions to me are “separate but equal” as they were in education. It wasn’t right then, and it isn’t right now. We were all created equal under the law, and I hope that on Nov. 4th – the current rights and privileges are not revoked under Prop 8. Thanks for listening/reading.